By Kyle Mennig 
Sunday afternoon Kirk Nieuwenhuis gave many a Mets fans (and their fathers - mine included) a fantastic Fathers Day, blasting a three-run home run to give the boys from Queens a come-from-behind 4-3 victory over the Chicago Cubs.

As many baseball fans already know, you might as well change Citi Field's name to Mudville, because there has been little to no joy to be found this season (or many others this century). The Mets "improved" to 21-39 with the victory, prompting this little gem from Bob Costas.



Sure, the celebration was a little over-the-top (are they spanking him?). But the decline of Western civilization? Reign it in a little Costas. Matthew Callan's piece over at Amazin' Avenue does a great job summing up why Costas' outrage is so ridiculous and considers that it's likely a result of Costas' career in decline that led to his little joke.

But there's a little more. For the Mets, a four-run game qualifies as an offensive explosion, much less a four-run inning. For me, the celebration is an exhale, coming with it the thought that maybe it will get better even though I know it most likely won't. But why not bask in that moment of hope that has been all too brief this year?

Also, take a look at MLB's walk-off page. Nearly every thumbnail on the page features a team mobbing players at home plate, celebrating the most exciting way to win a game. The Cardinals, the Marlins, the Indians, the Braves all celebrate in similar fashion so why should the Mets be any different Costas. Why should New York's "other" team have to solemnly walk off the field to ponder their fate as potential cellar-dwellers?

The remark was a little different than his other holier-than-thou moments in recent years (gun control, end zone celebrations) in that it was more of an off-hand quip than a planned soap-box session. Still, taking morality lessons from a guy who uttered the following line is a little hard for me to stomach.


You're Excited? Feel These Nipples!

Bob, you want to talk about the decline of Western civilization? Let's start with that little gem and move forward from there.

Is it just me or has this year's NCAA men's basketball tournament been really enjoyable?

I mean, of course it's usually a lot of fun, but it seems like there's something more this year.
Part of it for me is that this year a dream of mine was finally realized.

I knew having every board game in the history of mankind would pay off one day.

Seriously, that is a thing of beauty that should bring tears to your eyes. Four screens, four games, not having to miss a minute of action. Throw in the fact that I had nearly the entire day off Thursday and, well, there's still a pretty sizable dent in my couch. But my remote seemed appreciative for the break.

Day One offered a solid start to the madness. Southern was an early darling but came up short in it's upset bid against Gonzaga. Marquette also avoided an upset at the hands of Davidson with a late rally aided by a heartbreaking Wildcats turnover in the closing seconds. St. Mary's also rallied in an attempt to upset but missed a last-second 3-pointer that would have beat Memphis. An easy Syracuse win and the day's big story, Harvard's upset win over New Mexico, were the late highlights.

I spent much of the day Friday away from my four-screen heaven and at the office, so I missed most of the early action. Fortunately I was home in time to witness the upset of the year, seeing Syracuse fans' new second-favorite team Florida Gulf Coast University beat Georgetown.

GIF from SB Nation

In only its second year of eligibility for the Big Dance the Eagles soared, using an array of high-flying dunks and some clutch free throw shooting to knock off No. 2 seed Georgetown.

Seeing the Hoyas knocked out early is becoming a tradition on par with the Masters. In John Thompson III's 10 years at the helm Georgetown has been knocked out by double-digit seed five spots below it in five of them. He joined Bob Knight and Jim Boeheim as the only coaches with that dubious distinction, although it took those two 30-plus years to do it.

Not that I think Thompson's entirely to blame. Actually, it's bad timing on his part. He took over during a different era from Knight and Boeheim, a time when parity reigns. We've all heard commentators bemoaning the loss of the four-year player and how it hurts the game.

They may be right from November to February but March is a different story.

Just ask Florida Gulf Coast and its new fans in the Salt City.

As I'm sure you may have heard by now, the Big East as we know it is no longer. Sure, there will still be a Big East, but it feels like the days of the conference's dominance closed with the doors of Madison Square Garden Saturday night.

Seeing those memories end is especially hard for me personally growing up a Syracuse fan. One of my earliest memories is watching Ryan Blackwell sink St. John's in the semis in 1998.

 I don't remember anything else about that team or that season but watching Ryan Blackwell's shot in the corner and seeing those guys pile up after the win will always be with me.

That would be the first of so many more memories. I remember skipping an afternoon class when a fortunate class cancellation in 2006 allowed me to watch an on-the-wrong-side-of-the-bubble Orange squad led by an "overrated" senior play Cincinnati. I remember whipping my bright orange hat at my 9-inch TV after a stupid foul in the closing seconds. And I remember yelping louder than Bill Raftery when Gerry McNamara's running 3-pointer fell and a group of guys running out into the hall and celebrating.

 

Of course, that was just the start. I remember him doing it again against Connecticut, feeding Eric Devendorf for the game-winner against Georgetown and I remember the Orange beating Pittsburgh and McNamara donning the "Overrated?!!" shirt after his triumph. Fittingly, ESPN's theme for the tourney was "Remember the Name," which will always be referred to as "Gerry McNamara's Music" in my neck of the woods.

That was the most memorable tournament but the Syracuse-UConn matchup three years later was my most memorable game. Eric Devendorf (why do so many of my Big East memories revolve around Devo?) appeared to cap a regulation thriller with a miraculous 3-pointer, jumped on the scorers table and ultimately had his shot waved off. Nearly one full game, several missed UConn buzzer-beaters, what felt like at least 20 Paul Harris missed layups and a memorable appearance by walk-on Justin Thomas later the Orange had a victory in the wee hours of the morning. 

 

I'll remember the shock I felt when I found out my parents were still awake when it ended, as well as making it in to work by 7:00 the next morning. Perhaps what I'll remember most is discussing the game with complete strangers at the gas station. I'm not the easiest person to get along with at 6:30 a.m. with a full night's sleep so it's usually pretty bad when I don't get half a night's sleep. But this morning was different and I wasn't alone.

Certainly, there were other memorable teams, games and names over the years, Kemba Walker and Kevin Pittsnogle being two of my favorites (names, of course).

The biggest constant throughout the years was at the end of every Syracuse run my dad would say "one year, I'd love to make it down for the Big East tournament." Every year he said it and every year I thought I'd be there with him. Not anymore.

Sure, there will probably be some magical moments for Syracuse in the ACC tournament but will Dad say someday I hope to get down to Greensboro for this tournament? Will I want to go with him? Will we find someplace to eat that isn't Denny's?

For now nobody knows, but I'm sure it will never have the same mystique as MSG on a mid-March Saturday night.

Yes, that's a Kobe Bryant Fathead.

In case you missed it, Camden's boys bowling team made its first trip to the state bowling tournament Saturday and did very, very well.

This was also my first trip to the state bowling tournament, and boy was it a unique experience.

First, imagine a normal sized crowd for a different event - say basketball or volleyball. Now picture all these people not in a gym, but in a very constricted space between the lanes and the back wall of the Strike N Spare in Mattydale.

"Definitely loud," said Camden bowler Andrew Bourgeois of the event.

"Hectic and loud," added teammate A.J. Welch.

Maybe the intense battle for third place between the Blue Devils and Greece-Athena had their two lanes a little louder than the rest. Supporters of each squad got louder and louder with each ball thrown. The Spartans cheering section even had chants for five consecutive strikes as well as a guy waving a Kobe Bryant Fathead throughout the match (because, well, why not?).

Fans from both sides also got to witness an impressive performance from G-A junior Bryce Hook, who bowled 11 straight strikes to start the fourth game. The raucous crowd did fall silent during his last ball, soaking in the fact that they could be witnessing history. Their voices merged into one audible groan when the dust settled and three pins were left standing, leaving Hook with a 297 game.

Perhaps the most impressive feat was put up by bowlers from around the state. During such a heated competition its easy to lose ones head and vent frustrations at teammates or opponents. It wasn't the case Saturday as bowlers cheered for each other and carried themselves with great poise.

"It was nice," said Bourgeois. "A lot of people were very friendly. I had a good time."

And I'm sure he wasn't alone.

There are several aspects that go into making an outstanding sports movie. "Rocky" has the likeable underdog squaring off with the undisputed favorite again and again (and again and again and again and again), "Caddyshack" has several off-the-wall characters that keep you in stitches throughout and "Field of Dreams" looks at the emotional impact a game can have on our lives.

However - as the best ones are in real life - the announcers who describe the on-field action often slip through the cracks even though they may make the movie. There are several great ones and here are some of my favorites.

"Oh, he got all of that!"

5. "Caddyshack" - Carl Speckler - Okay, so Murray's memorable grounds-keeping goof isn't a paid announcer and sure, he isn't announcing for anyone but himself. Still, how many golfers haven't mumble-shouted "It's in the hole!" on the course or just while walking by a bed of flowers. I've hit dandelions in the yard and done it, don't act like you haven't (or haven't at least wanted to). "Cinderella story," and "it's in the hole," get a lot of love but my favorite part of Spackler's glorious moment is how he hits in 2-iron 105 yards, his 5-iron 155 yards and his 8-iron 195 yards. Gets me every time.

"You know, I love to see a fat guy score."

4. "The Replacements" - John Madden and Pat Summerall - This Keanu Reeves' flick about a never-was QB leading a bunch of misfits to the playoffs doesn't usually top any list of go-to sports movies but it's definitely not the worst you'll see. Madden and Summerall - one of the classic broadcast teams of all time - definitely shine, lending credibility to the film... for the most part. Madden's "old saying in sports" aside.

"What an unfortunate thing to happen on dozen egg night!"

3. "BASEketball" - Bob Costas and Al Michaels - Another pair of well-known broadcasters but their appearance was almost the polar opposite of Madden and Summerall. Costas and Michaels were unleashed in the "BASEketball" booth, saying things that they'd never really be able to say on the air. They're also probably not fit for this space as well, so moving on...

"Do you believe in unlikelyhoods?"

2. "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story" - Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks - The "Ocho's" dream team, played by Gary Cole and Jason Bateman - steal just about every scene they're in. McKnight does a straight play by play - for the most part - while Brooks offers insightful analysis such as "word, Cotton." They're the perfect duo for the Regional Dodgeball Open.

"Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway."

1. "Major League" - Harry Doyle - I completely understand if you took issue with any of my choices 5-2, but there is nobody better at movie announcing than Bob Uecker's Harry Doyle. It's hard to pick a favorite line ("He leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair," "The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it," or "Well, you can close the book on Kellner. Thank God" are all up there) but easy to pick the most well-known. Whenever there's an extremely wild pitch thrown at any baseball game at any level it's always a rush to see who can say "Just a bit outside" first.

What about you, who's your favorite film announcer?

Quick recap. Notre Dame linebacker and Heisman-trophy hopeful Manti Te'o tragically had his grandmother and girlfriend both pass away on September 11 of last year, making his story one of biggest of the college football season. Until yesterday, of course, when Deadspin made it the biggest college football story of the millennium by reporting his girlfriend never actually died because she was never actually real to begin with.

 

When the story broke yesterday it was immediately everywhere and most people still couldn't get enough. It was the last thing I checked before I went to bed last night and the first thing I checked this morning. I'm sure I wasn't alone, which led SB Nation to ask this morning why we care so much. It's a question I didn't really think about until after I read it, but there are certainly a lot of reasons. So here's my response.

For starters, we all love a good scandal. All we need to do is look at what dominated the news cycle before the Te'o news broke. We had days (was it weeks?) of different people reporting that Lance Armstrong was going to confess he doped to Oprah. First it came out that he would admit it in the interview. Or not. Then he did, according to sources. Then Oprah weighed in. There were dozens of stories with the same basic premise that he confessed. I read nearly all of them and still want to see the interview (which I'm sure is exactly how Oprah planned it).

Second, it was shocking. I mean how often do you hear about famous athletes persevering through the loss of a loved one? Torrey Smith did it in the NFL this year and everyone remembers Brett Favre on Monday Night Football after losing his father, so it's a pretty common occurance. Players are human and we all suffer losses, so it happens. How often has the loved one turned out to be fictional? Once, that I know of.

There's also the mystery of how much Te'o was involved. He and Notre Dame are denying his involvement, but Deadspin implies that he knew. So now we all want to know how much he knew. I've been somewhat anti-Manti since his father blacklisted the Honolulu Star Advertiser for publishing a picture of Te'o missing a tackle.

Does that have something to do with the fact that I'm not buying Te'o's innocence in the hoax? Probably. But seeing as Te'o and Notre Dame were already less than forthcoming with what they knew, as well as Brian Te'o's attempt to control what the Star Advertiser publishes also make me think the son and father were more involved than they're letting on.

Finally, the hoax touches on another hot-button issue: sexual orientation. Reading the story I wondered if this could be an elaborate scheme to protect Te'o. Again, not alone on this one. Now clearly I have no idea if this idea is true, but it's definitely a possibility which definitely adds to the intrigue.

Those are just a few reasons why we're so invested in the story, and I'm sure there are dozens more.

"Hi, can I come in?" "NO!"

The Baseball Writers Association of America created quite a stir Wednesday when we found out they weren't electing anybody to enter the Baseball Hall of Fame in 2013. The reason, of course, being that previously assumed-to-be first ballot HOFers used performance-enhancing drugs during their careers.

For guys like Roger Clemons, Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa the writing has been on the wall for a while now. Nobody really expected them to make it in this year, and none of them were close. Unfortunately, the guys who weren't publicly suspected of using and possibly put up great numbers while clean against players wielding superhuman strength weren't let in either (see: Biggio, Craig).

"None shall pass"

When the news initially broke I wanted to use this space to voice my opinion. However, I waited a day because my opinion at the time was basically a stream of vulgar insults of the BBWAA that wasn't fit to be read by children (this is a family space) or adults for that matter. I've reflected for a day and I still think that the BBWAA is completely and utterly wrong on several fronts, but I can more address them more coherently now.

My first, and biggest, question is what gives these writers the right to stand at the gates of Cooperstown like the Black Knight from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail?" It's been said ad nauseum that these are the same people who turned a blind eye to the rampant drug use in the sport. It's a legit issue.

I remember being in sixth/seventh grade when Mark McGwire and Sosa were racing to topple Roger Maris' single season home run record. I remember a friend writing a paper on the chase, and how both of them were using some kind of performance-enhancing substance. I argued it was just creatine and androstenedione (whatever those were) and nothing illegal, but he told me I was wrong. If a seventh grader at Stockbridge Valley can do more to expose drug use in professional sports than the BBWAA.... Well, maybe the Hall of Fame vote should be put in someone else's hands.

The 'stache deserves its own plaque.

Just as long as it isn't the enshrined Hall of Famers. Several applauded the BBWAA for keeping those despicable cheats out of Cooperstown's hallowed grounds. For some reason, Dennis Eckersley is the one that really ticks me off. Maybe it's mustache envy, but more than likely it's the fact that he's more hypocritical than the writers. Eckersley's plaque features (in addition to the 'stache, of course) an Oakland A's cap. You'll remember Eck was a part of those Bash-Brother A's teams from the late 80s. You know, the kind of Patient 0, if you will, of the PED outbreak. It's easy for Eckersley to get on his high horse now, but he wasn't saying much when McGwire and Jose Conseco helped power him to a World Series ring. Actually, if guys like Mike Piazza and Jeff Bagwell are lumped in with the known users shouldn't Eckersley be as well? To protect the "integrity" of the game maybe we need to start booting guys out. Think that would change his tune?

If you think that Bonds, McGwire, Sosa and Clemens don't belong in the Hall because they cheated that's fine. I'm not disagreeing with you. But to have the writers and players who watched it happen be the people keeping them out is a bit like letting the nuts take over the nut house.